Week 9 – A Brief Lunch Becomes a Powerful Experience

Location: Kampala, Uganda

For some time now, a refugee pastor from the DRC has been helping me with my project. Acting as a friend and interpreter, he has helped me turn what was once a disorganized mess into a meaningful and revealing product. One day as we sat down and discussed my research, we came up with the idea of holding a cookout where my group mates would be able to meet some Congolese refugees in the pastor’s neighborhood. The idea was simple: we would all come together and eat Congolese food and get to know a little about each other for an hour or two. This simple idea, however, turned into a powerful experience for us all.

On Saturday, May 29th, the day of the lunch, I met with the pastor early in the morning to discuss the get-together. After speaking for a few minutes, we came to the consensus that a simple lunch would not suffice. We needed to let my group mates know what these people had been thought and what they were still experiencing here in Kampala. When my friends arrived around two, I doubt they were expecting what they got. The lunch began with a group of children singing gospel music to us in Lingala, and after taking some time to eat, the next phase of the event began. Different Congolese refugees began standing up and relating moving experiences to us: they had witnessed rape, murder, and the complete destructing of their lives.

Though these stories were powerful, Professor Stewart noticed that the only speakers were men so she kindly asked if a woman could be given the chance to speak. None of us were prepared for what came next. A woman stood before us all and began telling us about how her children were forced to watch as she was raped, how most of her loved ones had been killed, and how these memories still plague her till this day. She then broke down in tears, and those members of our program who were not crying as well had completely blank faces. Now, I have heard many terrible stories over the course of my research, but nothing impacted me as much as this woman’s story. Most of the times that I have spoken to refugees about what they do to address their mental trauma, I have been met with a simple, “Nothing.” Knowing that this was likely one of the few times that this woman had spoken publicly about her trauma, I was even more touched by her story.

Though this experience was not easy to handle for any of us, I know that something good will come out of it. This gathering was only the first step. Using the content of this get-together as a guide, the pastor is already working to create an organization that can help some of the members of his community. Additionally, Professor Stewart and some of the students on our program are already thinking of ways that they can connect the Congolese refugee women that we met to resources that can help them deal with life after rape. The struggles of this community are great, but they are all skilled and intelligent. I know that they can overcome their troubles, and as I’m staying till September, I will try to help them in any way possible.

Week 9: Happy Birthday in 3 Languages ... or 5

Location: Kampala, Uganda

This past week, I celebrated my birthday on May 29. I would have to say this birthday experience has been much more meaningful than any other birthday I have experienced in the past (except for my skating party back in 4th grade followed by some ice cream cake, that was COOL). There were multiple celebrations that week, as 3 of us aged one year in a span of one week.

The first meaningful experience came on Thursday. We had a dinner to celebrate Mary, Rachel, and my birthdays, where 21 people came to eat some Thai food. On top of the current students, Stewart, Dan and Centurio and their wives, there were Martin, Paul, the three b-boys, Olivia, and Brian. The dinner was great, but what touched me the most was what each of the other members had to say about their relationships with us students and how much it meant to them. It struck at that moment in time how amazing it was to meet such people, in such a short amount of time and build such meaningful relationships. I had met the b-boys only a week before, and Brian 10 days prior. Yet, we were able to click off similarities and talking about life that made it so much more.

The second significant experience came on my birthday. There was nothing planned; we had the dinner already so we didn’t need anything spectacular. Mark had originally invited us to go eat lunch with Congolese refugees hosted by his entrancing pastor Elijah and lovely wife. The whole crew went to the refugees expecting to only gather together for a lunch and some conversation, leaving in a short while. No one expected what was to come next. We heard some very real stories of how they became refugees and what they experience. They ran away from Congo to run away from war, brutality, rape, and just a horrible situation, but as one refugee pointed out, they still experience these problems in Uganda. They get treated poorly, and they don’t receive the same opportunities as citizens of this country. The stories were very telling, but what hit me the most was how even as they don’t know who I am, we celebrated my birthday together as if they had known me forever. Pastor Elijah graciously gave me a present of a hunter mounted with two spears to catch fish, representing the tribal Africa that once was. They even sang happy birthday to me in 3 different languages (English and another two that I assume was a local dialect of Congolese and Swahili, or maybe it was just Luganda) as though we had been family forever. I was rather speechless through the whole experience, dumbfounded at how they accepted us and told us their stories without hesitation and with meaning.

The last experience came with a movie night. We ordered some pizza, chicken with cabbage (enkoko ne embogo, yehh), ice cream, popcorn, and gather everybody together to watch Avatar and the Back-Up plan. In retrospect, the movie night was just like any other experience, gathering together as a group and watching some movies, but it hit me hard that we were going to separate in less than a week. Everyone is going back to their own lives and this truly beautiful experience in Uganda will all end in such a short while. I watched the Back-Up plan and started remembering all the good times we would go down to Wandegeya and pick up some movies on the way. I looked at the pizza and thought of the time that we ordered 4 large pizzas in a big group back in Week 2, and abhorred the fact at how immensely expensive it was, but provided a meaningful group experience that I will never forget. I looked at the chicken and cabbage and thought of the first day, where Tamon and I slept through the whole day, only to wake up at 1 in the morning to get the same chicken and cabbage, and some lovely Nile Specials to complement and take in the first experience of Uganda. And I look at the group and wonder when we will ever be able to get into a group like this again. I look at each person and wonder how different it will be to see each other back in school, and how different the relationships will develop.

Thank god 7 of the 9 of us chose to stay. The fun still hasn’t ended yet.